Only in Your Dreams

The Big Day Finally Arrives

2009-06-05T20:24:00.000-07:00

My big day finally arrived. I got up at 10:30 and was greeted by my mother and Linda. I got out of the house and went to get my hair done in soft curls at Paul Mitchell Studios in downtown Pittsburgh. The 4 o'clock ceremony came sooner than expected.
My father walked me down the aisle. No big wedding. Just Linda, Henry, the four boys and their families, and myself. As soon as I was able to see the big grin on Jordan's face I completely melted.
The father made us exchange simple vows and we sealed the deal with a intense kiss. Jordan took me in his arms and had complete control. We went to dinner after the half hour ceremony and then Jordan and I finally boarded a private plane to Cancun.
"Hello Mrs Staal." He softly spoke to me as my head lay against his shoulder.
"Why hello there Mr Staal. How are you on this fine afternoon." I sneezed.
"Bless you."
"Thank you."
"I can't believed we are finally married." He sighed.
"I love you forever and always Mr Jordan Staal." I fell asleep and didn't awake until the plane landed in Cancun.
I had a very strange dream while we were on the plane. Jordan and I were at the hospital awaiting the birth of our first child and I just had a heart attack and died.
I awoke screaming my lungs out and pretty sure I woke up Jordan as well.

An Old Friend

2009-01-24T09:41:00.000-08:00

I was set to be married in three days. I couldn't believe it. I was so in love with Jordan I just couldn't wait to be able to call myself Mrs. Jordan Staal. I decided to give myself today to just unwind and relax by myself. I went to the Mall at Robinson to shop. I was in American Eagle looking at cute tanks for our honeymoon in Cancun. I also wanted something to surprise him with so I ventured into Victoria's Secret and bought hot pink lingerie. I thought I looked horrible but I am the one who is pregnant with the mutant baby spawn of Jordan Staal.
After three hours of intense shopping to calm my cold feet I went and got Chinese food. I went and sat down when all of a sudden Patrick showed up.
"Hey." He started.
"Hi." I answered.
"So how have you been?" He asked me, flashing that stupid grin of his.
"Fine and well. How bout yourself?" I replied.
"Ya know, same old same old. I finally got Jonathan a girl to have a serious relationship with. They are engaged now." He answered. Telling me about Jonathan Toews and not himself and completely ignoring me as usual.
"Well do you have a fiance?" I asked.
" Nope. I'm a bachelor for life." Patrick answered me.
"Bachelor for life? You never want the whole family thing?" I questioned his motives.
"After you left me things changed. I realized that I did not really want to be in a serious relationship again to have my heart torn in twp pieces again." He answered, sounding like a big smartass.
"Well. I am in a commited relationship. Getting married in three days. Having a baby in another seven months so I'm so god damn happy right not. Nice to see you again you fucker. Jordan is a way better lover than you. I was never in love with you and am so GLAD after that moment. Have a good life you god damn ass be fucker." I hissed and stormed off.
A confrontation with an old friend did not go as well as I hoped.
At least I get to go home to my hot sexy husband-to-be.

One Week

2009-01-10T17:00:00.000-08:00

"Mom will you just talk to me already and not be such a hard head." I started. This was after I just told her Jordan and I decided to get married as soon as possible.
"Why do you have to get married so soon? I just don't understand where your father and I went wrong." She rambled off.
"Mom there is a really good reason." I started as I looked at my growing belly. I was four months along.
"Holy hell I think I'm going to be sick." She said.
"Mom c'mon. You have to help me plan my wedding! I'm your only daughter and as far as I'm concerned you have to keep the baby a secret. No one is suppose to know." I said.
"Does Jordan know?" She asked.
"Yes. It was his idea for the quickie wedding." I answered.
"Brittnae." She started.
"Mom c'mon I already can tell what you're gonna..." I tried to plead my case.
"Shush. When is Jordan's parents coming in?" She asked.
"Linda and Henry are on a red eye right now. Eric is coming after his game tonight. Tanya is already on her way her from Raleigh and Jared and Marc are going to be here tomorrow." I told her.
"Good. Linda and I need to find you one hell of a dress." She said.
YEESS!!! MY PARENTS APPROVED!
The next thing I knew we were in David's Bridal looking at gowns.
______________________________________________

"Oh my. Jordan is gonna scream when he sees you." Tanya and Laurie gushed as I walked out of the dressing room to show Linda, Tanya, Laurie, and my mom a dress I liked.
"It's beautiful." Linda swooned.
"I hate it." My mother snapped. Linda , Tanya, and Laurie began to argue with her.
"Guys." I was getting no where.
"GUYS!" I yelled. All four of them looked at me.
"We're in a freaking Bridal store. There is plenty of other dresses to pick from." I stopped the fight. All three sighed.
Ten minutes later I walked out in a long strapless wedding gown. The top was like Jessica Simpson's from her wedding to Nick Lachey and the bottom was poofy with a thirty foot train.
"That is the winner." My mom said.
"I second that." Tanya said.
"I couldn't agree more." Linda spoke.
"Wow. Just wow." Laurie exclaimed
I paid for the dress and Tanya and Laurie got sized for their bridesmaid dresses. We left David's Bridal.
"So what are the arrangements exactly?" Tanya asked as I drove down the highway.
"Small and simple. Eric and Jared are groomsmen and you two are the bridesmaids. Marc is the usher. Small and simple like I said. We get married next weekend at St. Paul's Cathedral and the reception is at the Hilton. Twenty people outside of that on each side is invited." I answered.
"Next week." My mom repeated.
"Mom are you okay?" I asked.
"I'm fine. It feels like just yesterday you were learning to walk and now you're getting married." My mom answered in a depressing tone.
"Aww." Tanya and Laurie said at the same time.
One Week until I was to be Mrs. Jordan Staal. Little did they know besides my mom, we were soon going to be parents.

A Night of Surprises

2009-01-10T16:30:00.000-08:00

The weeks went by. Then months. Then a year. Then another. Jordan and I had been together for two years eight months and three weeks. I have to admit that I loved the kid to death. I knew he had his problems and I had mine. I never told Jordan about Sidney and me. I never went to any game or function that I would see his face. I don't know what I would do if I actually came in contact with him. Jordan had his drinking problem. Ever since we began dating he would resort to booze if things weren't going his way or if he was really stressed. Tonight was a special anniversary dinner for us. I knew I had to tell him. After all, my stomach was growing by the minute.

At Dinner:
"I heard this place is really good for Italian Cuisine and I know how much you love Italian, baby." Jordan started.
"Yeah. I love Italian." I replied.
We ordered our food and I decided the time was right to tell him about the Staal spawn.
"Jordan, babe, we've been together for awhile." I started.
"Please B, don't tell me you are breaking up with me." He said.
"Hell no!" I replied.
"Good." He answered.
"Jordan I'm trying to say that I've been getting sick in the morning really bad lately. I went to the doctor to see if it was some weird bug going around and I was told to make an appointment with my gyno. I did. I am pregnant. You're going to be a father." I took time to emphasize I'm pregnant.
"You're pregnant? I'm going to be a dad?" He asked.
"Yes." I answered.
"Well this is no longer a secret." He said as he pulled a black box from his jacket coat. This was it. He was going to propose.
"Brittnae Starks... The past two years have been the best of my life. I realized there is life outside of hockey. I love waking up in the morning and see your green eyes staring back at me. You are the ice to my ice hockey. Will you marry me?" Jordan spoke as he got down on one knee.
"Yes." I replied. He gave me a kiss. A long and very passionate kiss.
"So you are pregnant and all. Let's get married as soon as possible before you start to really show." Jordan spoke.
"That sounds great. Let's go to Vegas." I suggested.
"Let's have a traditional wedding." He suggested back.
"But there's nothing traditional about us. The baby is suppose to come after the wedding." I told him.
"Technically it can be our little secret and we can announce it when we come back from the honeymoon." He answered.
"Jordan." I began.
"Yes momma." He smirked.
"You're a genius." I replied.
Dinner came and the next day we began to plan our wedding. That is after we told our parents and his brothers.
It didn't go so well with mine.

Updates soon

2009-01-04T10:05:00.000-08:00

With Christmas and stuff, I've been quite busy but I promise new posts soon. Any ideas for this story are gladly welcomed.

Mr Oppurtunity.

2008-12-02T15:36:00.000-08:00

Jordan came back out of the locker room dressed in an American Eagle tshirt, Abercrombie jeans, and black Converse.
"Okay so I hope you know what Gillihan's is." He spoke.
"Umnn, does Hal Gill own it?" I asked. Gillihans's. Gill. Dead give away.
"Sorry but I have to admit that was cute." He answered.
We left the arena at 1 and arrived at Gillihan's fifteen minutes later.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So what exactly is your last name or am I suppose to just know you as Jordan?" I asked as I sipped my Pepsi and awaited our food.
"Staal. Yes of the Staal brothers." He replied. STAAL? Oh my. This was bound to get bad. When did he get traded to the Pens? I hope he doesn't remember me.
"Yours?" He asked.
"Starks. I'm not from around here. I'm originally from Calfornia and came here to pursue nursing." I replied.
"Starks? Why does that sound so familiar?" He began. Shit! He was onto me.
"I was engaged to Patrick Kane for a year and a half but before you judge me it was arranged by my parents and I just didn't click with him." I answered.
"Patrick Kane? I was his teammate for like a week before I was traded back to the Pens. That's interesting." He added.
"Well I'm not afraid of commitment or anything. It just was arranged and we didn't click and I didn't want to spend my life with someone I really didn't go with like that you know?"
"Yea I catch your drift. I didn't even know arranged marriages were like in anymore." He started.
"Yea my folks are really old fashioned and all. I have hippie parents that dress like 80's is the new black." I ended. "So enough about me Jordan tell me more about you."
"Well I have two older brothers Eric and Marc and a younger one named Jared. We all obviously made it to the NHL level. My folks never relocated so they're still in Thunder Bay. I had a girlfriend named Heather but she was just too crazy and never really like was sober so I ended it. I played for the Petes before I was drafted by the Pens. I grew up working on a sod farm. My parents are the kindest people you will ever meet. I'm not afraid of commitment either. I was arrested at my brother's bachelor party back in 2008. Have to say that is one thing I really regret. Hockey is my love but actual romance comes in front of it besides family. I like to golf in my spare time. I could keep going on and on....." He answered.
"Wow. I can't sum my average life up like that in two minutes." I replied.
"Eh, you get used to it with the media and stuff." He assured me.
Our food came and I got to know Jordan a little better. We went back to his place afterwards. I never went home.
---------------------------------------------------------------
About 3 weeks later:

"Wanna have sex or is it to early?" He asked as it was just me and him at his apartment by ourselves.
"Hit me with your best shot." I replied.
We started out slow, by making out. I was getting tired of it so I started to kiss my way down to his rather large penis. It had to literally be eight inches long and two in circumference. He read what I was going to do and rolled me on my back and started pumping. Now and then we would kiss but it really felt great. He could hit spots Sid and Pat couldn't. We went at it for like three hours then went at it again in the shower and on his kitchen counter.

WOW.

Everything Thrown Away for Nothing.....Or Maybe Not?

2008-11-26T14:57:00.000-08:00

I did make it to a practice during November. I watched him the entire time on the ice completely dedicated every second of every shift and every shot. It was about 3 hours until I saw him disappear off the ice into the hallway where the dressing rooms were so I followed him. He was met by a red head. I couldn't really make out the words they were saying but I saw him full on kiss her. This wasn't just a kiss on the lips either. It was a full tongue-on-tongue action kiss. I couldn't believe my eyes. I threw a good year and a half of a relationship away for him when he is already taken? God! I can't believe it. Just then a man with a mustache approached me.
"Excuse me, miss," He started.
"Yes?" I asked. Dazed and still couldn't believe my eyes as to what I just saw.
"You look lost my name is Jordan. Can I help you with something?" He asked in return.
"No I'm not lost thank-you. My name is Brittnae but you can call me Brit." I answered in return to his introduction.
"Are you a fan of the Pens?" He asked me.
"Yes I am. Raised in California but born a Pens fan." I politely replied.
"Cali? Cool! Who was your favorite player?" He asked. What was up with all these crazy questions?
"Mario." I lied.
"Yeah, he did some pretty wicked things on the ice. Are you single?" He asked yet again.
"Yes but looking for Mr. Opportunity." I replied.
"Does Mr. Opportunity look like this?" He asked.
"Yes." I replied.
"Can I take you to lunch after morning practice?" He asked.
"Well I do believe my schedule has an opening for lunch." I replied.
"Cool. Give me like 20 minutes okay? Stay here and don't move." He answered as he disappeared into the locker room.
So I came to this practice looking for Sidney and came out with a guy named Jordan. I don't know who this Jordan kid is though. I only knew of Jordan Staal and he was dealt by the Penguins to Chicago in 2012 just before I left. This kid looks an awfully lot like him.

I have to hurry and think about a fabricated life story fast!

Back to the Burgh

2008-11-26T14:25:00.000-08:00

Patrick was the one to break it to our parents about the split. My parents never said anything. They just packed their belongings and put a "For Sale" sign outside their house in Chicago. I waited until my schooling was done before I moved back to Pittsburgh because the education system is a quack and takes forever for credits to transfer.
It is now June 2016. My schooling is done and I have a degree. I applied to Childerens' over the internet and within a week got my acceptance letter in the mail. I ditched my dark jet brown hair for a lighter shade with blond highlights. I didn't want to go back looking like I did when I left. My bust grew voluptuously so I am no longer as thin as a board. I had taken up going to the gym as a way of getting rid of all this extra time I found on my hands after the break-up and schooling was over. Fast forward to July 2nd, 2016 and I find myself on an American Airlines airplane to go where I really belong. Home.

I bought an apartment in Oakland so I could walk to work every morning. There was two bedrooms, a bathroom, a small kitchen, and a living room. I was settled in about a week after moving in. I had called Laurie after our five year split and told her we needed to get caught up with each other. I couldn't wait to tell her my story. I bet she will love to hear it. We had plans to meet at Jerome Bettis' Bar and Grille on Tuesday.

"Oh my god girl look at you now!" Laurie squealed in her seat.
"It's nice to see you too Laur." I replied.
We got into talking after we ordered and she asked the big question.
"So why did you leave so sudden?" She asked.
"My parents. They made me fly to Chicago and I get there and I find out I'm in an arranged marriage with Patrick Kane. It didn't work out though so I came back." I left out the Sidney part.
"Wow. Sounds like you've been busy." She answered.
"I would have been back like four years earlier but I wanted to finish school and all my credits got messed up transferring so I was stuck in school another year." I answered.
"Yet again. That sucks." She replied.
"Tell me about it." We laughed and our food came then we left. I returned to an empty apartment eager to go to the first Penguins practice I could make it to.

Here we Go AGAIN!

Breakoutta this Joint

2008-11-26T12:49:00.000-08:00

After the whole Brent episode, I was reconsidering everything. Under the circumstances, Patrick turned out not to be that bad. After the whole Sidney thing with the "She's not in love with you", I knew it. My parents forced me into this. I didn't want to be forced to do anything that I knew wasn't for me. That was the problem though. I loved my nursing job back in Pittsburgh. Here, it is literally hell. The main nurse here is Lucy Shedlocke. Lucy has auburn hair and green eyes. I call her Drisela because she reminds me of the evil stepsister in Cinderella. She is a real bitch. She is real intimidating and nothing is ever good enough for her. My old nurse boss was Shelly LaVerne. Shelly was awesome. Shelly made everything always so happy and outgoing and Lucy is the complete opposite. Basically, Chicago is hell. Pittsburgh was heaven. I had it made. Sidney was even there. I promised myself we were over and I wouldn't think of him anymore but I still do. Patrick is nothing to me. The sex isn't even any good anymore. When it comes to marriage and love, you have to make the decisions for yourself. My parents aren't my boss. As much as I want them to be, they aren't. My heart doesn't lie with Patrick, it lies with Sidney.
I made up my mind. I was going to tell Patrick I don't want him, give back the ring, and fly to Pittsburgh. I was risking everything I had ever known just for the sake of one boy. I just had to tell him now. I was sure that even if it meant losing my parents that I was doing it anyway. They aren't me and for once should be taught that the hard way.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"Hey babe do you have a minute?" I asked. Pat was out in the garage.
"For you love anything." He answered.
"I think you should sit down." I replied.
"Brittnae you didn't kill anyone did you?" He asked.
"No babe it's just I have been thinking." I began.
"Okay." He said.
"I'm being serious. I want to give this back." I continued as I took the diamond engagement ring off.
"I'm not so sure I understand." He spoke.
"I believe we should have the chance to go and find our one true love darling. I don't want my parents to make that decision. So I think we should go our separate ways." I finished.
"Why did you go along with it for so long then? Brittnae I learned to love you. I don't want anyone else." He looked me straight in the eyes with his.
"Pat I don't love you. Trust me, when you find that special someone you will thank me." I assured him.
"Just get out." He replied coldly.
"But I have to pack all my stuff." I answered.
"Just GET OUT! I'll have it fedexed to you." He snarled with hot tears running down his face. I obeyed his orders.
I can't believe I hurt him so bad. He didn't deserve that.
Did he deserve me?

hey

2008-11-21T18:49:00.000-08:00

sorry for not updating
twilight is out this weekend
promise to get new posts up as soon as possible

Another Bump in the Road

2008-11-13T16:51:00.000-08:00

Everything went back to normal between Patrick and me within a matter of days. Luckily, his teammates never found out so I am not considered the Chicago Blackhawks whore. I had begun to talk to Brent Scopel more or BS as I call him. Patrick and Brent are really good friends too. I didn't realize until Patrick and my's Cub's Playoff party celebration that I realized how he really felt about me.

It is past 11 and Patrick, Brent, and Brittnae are in Brittnae and Pat's hot tub.
"I think I'm hitting the hay." Patrick announced. He started to get out of the hot tub before he kissed me goodnight. Brent said a mellow "night" and we started to talk. About 20 minutes after our conversation started he came closer to me and put his arm around me.
"Literally, what do you think of you and me?" He asked.
"Like together?" I said.
"Yeah, you know the whole love thing." He replied.
"I'm with Patrick." I said.
"Don't you ever just wonder?" He asked again. I had barely just gotten my fiance's trust after sneaking around with Sidney Crosby and now his best friend and Teammate wants me? What the hell?!!
"I'm with Pat." I declared.
"Yeah but we.." He started to put his fingers down my bikini bottom.
"Brent." I declared.
"You know you want it." He answered. He then fully forced his body onto mine and ripped my bathing suit off. I tried to call for Patrick, but my frail yells weren't heard. Brent was trying to sleep with me..... he is Patrick's best friend. I couldn't take it no more. I popped.
"Patrick!!!!Patrick!!!!Pat!!!!!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. By now, Brent had his swimming trunks on and was acting like nothing had ever happened. My top was still off.
"What the hell?" He asked.
"Dude she was all over me and kissing me and this and that. You better watch her." He declared.
"No I wasn't! You just asked me how you think it could be between us and you were trying to fuck me in our damn hot tub!" I was pleading my case.
"Brent go home."
"Dude you are seriously going to listen to her?" He questioned.
"She is my future wife. You have been a sly liar for years now. Just get out." He answered.
"But.." He tried to answer.
"Get out." He declared.
Brent had left without any further interruptions.
"You believed me?" I asked.
"Yes. I knew you wouldn't go after a teammate anyway." He answered.
"No I wouldn't go after anyone." I corrected.
"Here's a towel. Just come to bed already?" He tried to get me to go.
"Yes sir." I answered.

THANK GOD!!!!!!

Time is not my best friend

2008-11-12T13:12:00.001-08:00

I walked into the house Patrick and I shared. I found him hyperventilating on the couch.
"Baby what's wrong?" I asked. Maybe if I went along that I didn't know Sidney had talked to him, maybe he would believe me.
"Just go back to him. I know that is who you want." He answered.
"Pat you are wrong. I made a mistake that I am being forced to live with but don't sit there and tell me I want him because I wouldn't have come back if that was the case. I was with him before because I didn't really know you all that much and was learning all there is to know about you." I replied.
"You really think I am going to believe that?" He shrugged.
"Well you should because it is the truth." I answered.
"Did you sleep with him?" He asked.
"Yes. Just believe me that you're the one that I want. Please, Pat." I said.
"I..Don't...Think... I....." I cut him off.I sat down beside him and was trying to calm him down a bit. It seemed to be working.
"You are getting all worked up over a man that is not a threat anymore. I love you. I know after just hearing about the whole shebang you are worked up so babe, just go to sleep. I can tell you are tired and everything is going to be fine. I grabbed his head and leaned him into me so he could go to sleep. I turned on the tv and began to watch Chelsea Handler on Chelsea Lately. Thank god he was right. I whipped out my cell to text Sidney one last time.

Thank you for showing me what I had all along. Brittnae.

Send. It was the truth. Patrick developed a light snore. I slowly tried to lie down without waking him. It worked.

You are welcome madmoseille.

At Least I Think I Won't Be Needing His Services Anymore.

I Need To Go

2008-11-12T12:54:00.001-08:00

I had gotten done what needed doing at the hospital and went to see Sidney before I left.
So this time around it wasn't great. I was completely disgusted. I went into his bathroom to get a shower and when I got out I had a very unexpected surprise waiting.
"Patrick called you." Sidney said.
"Oh. Ok thanks. I guess I'll call him back." I said.
"No need to." Sidney blurted out.
"Why? Sidney Patrick what did you do?" I told him. I wasn't about to have him ruin my life.
"I told Patrick the truth. I answered and told him who I was and that it was a damn rotten shame that he was making you marry him when you weren't really in love with him..that you wanted someone else. He said I thought that was what she wanted and hung up." He explained. I started to yell every single North American curse word that I knew.
"Why in the hell did you tell him that you rotten bastard?" I yelled.
"Because you are in love with me and true love shouldn't be shunned away." He answered.
"I'M.....NOT...IN.....LOVE......WITH......YOU.........TAKE.....YOUR......
SEVEN.....INCH........DICK.....AND.......SHOVE........IT.........
........UP.....YOUR......ASS! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!" I shrieked. I was lying. I was in love with him and Patrick both. I had started to gather my things and was ready to go back to Chicago. I had to straighten this mess out.
"Where are you going?" He asked in disbelief.
"I am going to straighten this mess out. Fuck you for messing this up! I hope you rot in hell. And just so you know I am NOT in love with you. You are a side job to me. Thank you for messing up what I had built." I thundered.
"I won't be waiting when you come back." He harshly said.
"GOOD! I DON'T NEED YOU!!" I snapped and within seconds slammed the door.

Hopefully Patrick didn't believe Sidney's bullshit story. I hope he can forgive me.

I hope.

My Other Love....

2008-11-11T13:09:00.001-08:00

As it all fell into place, our wedding was planned for May 24th, 2015. Since I am only 19 (but will be 20 in five days!), Patrick and I decided to wait until I was 22 to get married. The only exception to this rule was kids. Whenever we decided we wanted to start having kids we would. I could get pregnant tomorrow for all I knew! The hospital had decided to send me on an intern trip to (where else of all places?) Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh meant Sidney and Sidney meant him and I engaging in sexual activity while I am legally, Patrick's. All throughout our romance I have followed Sidney's advice: What Patrick don't know won't hurt him. I have to admit it was working.

"So you are going to Pittsburgh?" He asked.
"Yes, but it's only for a few days so I think you can survive." I grabbed his hand and gave him a quick kiss. Having sex was the best thing that ever happened to Patrick and me. Now, we are completely not afraid of each other.
"Hmmm... yes. After all, it's not like you are going behind my back or anything." Patrick managed to really stress those last few words. SHIT! Was he onto me? HOLY CRUD!!!
"You know I'm all yours." I spit out lies. I wasn't all his. I belonged to Sidney Crosby too.
I packed my bags and was off to the airport that afternoon.

It was when I was on the plane that I decided to tell Sidney. I whipped out my cell and was eager to tell him the news. I was ready to suck on his giant 7 inch cock again.

I'm on a plane to Pitt right now.

I wasn't sure how I should have approached telling him so I just spit it out.

Awesome. The minute you land drive over. Drive over? Damn. It's good to know he was waiting for me too.

Will do. Be ready the minute I get there since you only have me at all until 6. I had to check in with my boss at 6. They were nice enough to give us the first few hours within landing time to explore.

Explore? Yeah.... Right.

HERE WE GO AGAIN!

Didn't I Just Do This?

2008-11-10T18:02:00.000-08:00

"Morning babe." I whispered. I saw the sunlight come in from behind the blinds. Patrick was still asleep. I nuzzled my head into his neck. I saw his eyes open.
"Morning beautiful." He spoke. Patrick looks just like an underwear model when he gets up in the morning with those blond locks of his everywhere. I still haven't told him about last night. Maybe I should just listen to Sidney and never under any circumstances tell him.
"Do you have morning skate today?" I asked.
"Umnn..thats a negative." Patrick answered and gave me one of his smiles.
"Perfect." I started to kiss him softly on the lips. Patrick went to start taking my shirt off. I didn't care to stop him because I did say that tomorrow we would sleep together yesterday.
Minutes passed and we were both naked completely. Patrick just started to pump away. He was one of the rough and hard guys. When I was with Sid, he went nice and slow. I didn't object to tell him to stop. He was doing a pretty good job. He stopped to take a break.
"Is is how you want it?" He asked.
"Perfect." This morning was beginning great.
Patrick started again. I wrapped my legs around his and was running my fingers through his hair.
"Lets get in the shower."
He flashed me a smile and picked me up. The shower managed to get on after all the intense making-out hard core we were doing. The shower felt real good. I heard my cell beep.
"Ignore it." I said through all the commotion.
"Will do miss." He said.
We made it back to the bed and repeated this same process about six more times. All in all, we spent almost four hours on hot steamy sex.
"Was it all you wanted? Worth the wait?" He asked.
"Yes and yes. We can spend the rest of our lives doing this and raising our beautiful blond hair blue eyed children." I announced.
"Not to forget our 20 pets." He added.
"Yes! You can't forget pets."
Patrick laughed.
I felt like I was still hiding something. I buried my head in his bare chest and just laid there.

I WAS STILL A WHORE

An Old Flame

2008-11-10T16:09:00.000-08:00

"Sidney, you can only have me for today. I couldn't leave Chicago on such short notice for a long period of time." I said.
"Shut up and don't worry.. You can be back before 11 if I can start now." He motioned.
"Considering that I am the biggest whore on the face of the Earth I dont think it matters." I know why I was sitting in his bare bedroom right this minute. I knew what was going down in a matter of minutes.
"You're beautiful and what Patrick knows won't hurt him." He tried to convince me but I had my mind made up. I had to hide my spontaneous rendezvous with Sid somehow. I have to come home with lots of clothes.
"Just do it okay?" I sounded real into it.
He stepped forward and gave me a passionate kiss. This wasn't any kiss. It was tongue on tongue action. I couldn't stop myself. I latched toward his belt and pants and ripped them off so fast. He chuckled. He started to undress me. Now is where that voice in the back of my head is suppose to come out and say "Brittnae! Snap out of it!". Now it decided to keep it's silence.
We were both naked on his bed. I felt his hard on. I knew I had to do it. I pulled my mouth away from his and started kissing down his body until I reached his penis. By now Sidney was moaning. I started and then stopped after a good twenty minutes. He rolled me over on the bed and began to pump. Oh god, even if I wanted to stop him I couldn't. It just felt so good. I started to moan. Then my cell phone rang.
"Shit!" I said. I ran to my pants and answered it.
"Hi babe. I'm in the dressing room right now so I can't really talk but I will be home late so you're on your own for dinner. Alright bye." I hung up and shut it off. I was going to lie and say it died.
Sidney continued for an hour.
"I have to go." I kissed him on the cheeks and got dressed.
"I'll text you later." He answered.
"Yeah." I was gone.
I arrived in Chicago at 10:30. I drove to the nearest mall and just grabbed a ton of clothes in my size at American Eagle. I got at the house at quarter after 11. Patrick was in bed.
"Whoa babe. Did you buy enough?" He asked.
"Yes honey. It is nice to treat yourself to some clothes once and a while and I needed to get out of the house. I'm going to get a quick shower and I'll join you." I said.
"You want to have sex? Or is it too early yet?" He asked. Shit! If I answered no I was the biggest hypocrite alive.
"Actually babe I'm kinda tired but maybe tomorrow." I lied. I could go for more sex but I knew he couldn't top Sidney off. I hurried to the shower and dried my hair then joined him in bed. I gave him a kiss on the lips.
"I love you." I answered.
"Same here." He said.
Within minutes I was asleep.
That wasn't so bad.
If he only knew.

Just the start of Something Old

2008-11-10T15:11:00.000-08:00

I started an internship at the local hospital and took college courses online the day after I arrived. It's hard to believe that I have been in the Windy City now for over a month. I recovered over my little slump of depression after I had seen Sidney in the first time since my world turned around in a week. I was over him. Patrick was my now. I was so over him, I decided to start texting him one day when Patrick was at morning skate. I whipped out my phone and unblocked his number. I starting to type away.

Hey Sid its Brittnae, I don't know if you want to talk to me again or not

Send. This didn't feel too bad. A couple of minutes later I got a reply.

Well your husbands boyfriend really did get a point across.

My husband's boyfriend? Wow. He was real cool.

Yea well I cant help it you're a dick and hes not

He was starting to get real smartassy with me. I didn't care. I looked at my 15 carat gold diamond engagement ring the entire time. Compliments of Patrick three days earlier. I couldn't argue. The boy had taste. Two seconds later a reply.

Well I do have a dick so thanks for pointing out the obvious Captain Spazzo

Captain Spazzo? What are we in the first grade again?

I didnt text to argue with you and just to let you know that night was real special and I will never forget it. Patrick doesn't do it as good as you.

Doesn't do it as good as you? I'm starting to sound like a whore! We haven't even been sexually active since Pat and I got together.

Pittsburgh's only a couple of hours away

Only a couple of hours away? I'm engaged and Sidney wants to sleep with me again! I thought about his offer and then I thought about Patrick for two minutes.

Consider me there.

Oh god. I'm the biggest whore I know. I left a note on the kitchen table that told Pat I was driving up North to go shopping. A real good lie too. I was about to cheat on my fiance. I was about to throw away everything I ever believed in for the sake of love. Our love was different than Patrick's and mine. We were in a forbidden love. I didn't care. Sidney was my Jacob Black and Patrick my Edward Cullen.

I was a fish on a hook. I couldn't find myself. Those eyes... his hair.. those huge lips... that bootylicious ass... he was a sex god. I was his little pet.

WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO?!!!!!

Where Am I?

2008-11-09T10:15:00.000-08:00

I woke up and I was in this weird red room. I saw the Blackhawks logo painted on the wall. There was a bunch of training equipment. My eyes were barely opened.
"Do you think she is okay doc?" I heard Pat. Where was he? How come I couldn't see him?
"That asshole is a real ass." Jonathan said. Who were they talking about?
"Mr. Kane she looks like she will be fine. All she hit was her head. There is no sign of head trauma so as soon as she wakes up, I suggest you get her home and in bed." The doctor assured Patrick. I could see again, fully.
"Pat......Pat......." I stuttered.
"Brittnae you hit your head. Don't worry babe, the doctor says you'll be fine. I love you." He said. Patrick said he loved me. My head was almost spinning. He loved me.
"How did I hit my head?" I asked.
"Well, Sidney Crosby is a fucking cunt who needs to leave people the hell alone." Jonathan hissed.
"Jon dude, that's enough." Patrick tried to bring some comfort to me.
I left the trainer's room at 2 in the morning. Patrick didn't play in the game but Jonathan did. The Hawks' kicked the shit out of Sid and the Pens 15-3. Jonathan told me they were scoring against Fleury like crazy and he won a fight against Sid and in the process gave him a bloody nose. Serves him right for screwing with my emotions like that. Andrew Ladd's wife had dropped by to visit me at our house. She seemed like a very nice woman. I made shopping plans with her for next Tuesday. A lot of the Blackhawks and their wives visited me. I was laying on Patrick's chest the majority of the time. I was fighting with my lids. Listening to his heartbeat made me sleepy. Now and then he would give me sweet kisses on my forehead. I had to admit it. Even if our romance is suppose to be planned, I really have nothing against it anymore.
I was ready now.
I loved him so much.
I don't even know anymore who Sidney Crosby was.
I loved Patrick.

I Didn't Leave You But I Did Leave You

2008-11-09T08:28:00.000-08:00

So tomorrow came sooner rather than later. Patrick and I left earlier because he wanted me to meet the guys on the team. Adam Burish and Brent Seabrook were pretty cool, nice and laid back kids. Jonathan Toews was next. He felt like someone I could trust here, since I still didn't know everything about Patrick yet. Patrick Sharp felt like my dad to me since he acted so old but was still only in his 30's. All the other guys I didn't really pay attention to. They all introduced themselves and that was it. It was about 6 and Patrick had to get ready for the 7:30 game. I decided to leave and wander around the area. At the same minute I was walking out of the Blackhawks dressing room, the Penguins were arriving. I saw him. I started to feel queasy. It didn't stop when he started to talk to me. Oh god, he remembered me.
"Brittnae! Where'd you go? I tried to call but you never answer!" He said. I was unsure of what to say since I couldn't just straight out say "I'm in an arranged marriage!". I wish I could just have it written in red marker on my forehead. Then I just started. By this time, he was right in front of me.
"I gotta call from my mom and she made me move to Chicago. Sidney, please understand, it was very short notice." I tried to comfort myself.
"I'm not so sure I do. You could have answered my calls." He coldly said.
"I never answered cause it hurt too much. I arrived and found out I was in an arranged marriage Sid." I said. I was fighting back the tears at this point.
"With whom may I ask?" He was starting to become an asshole. I didn't blame him either.
"Patrick Kane." I answered below my breath.
"You are telling me you left me for Patrick Kane. What does that son of a bitch have that I don't?" He said.
"It is arranged Sidney. I didn't leave you but I did. The real Brittnae that fell in love with you is still here but is being forced by family to marry someone else." I said. I couldn't hold my tears any longer.
"You're family is a bunch of dicks and deliver a message to your so called Patrick." He said.
"He's not in on it! Don't you dare talk about him like that! He is a really good guy, Sid." I yelled. I went from being so sad over him to being angered. Pat knew how I felt about the entire situation. Sidney crossed the line once he started trashing him.
"Well tell you're so called "good guy" that my actions of what I think of him will show on the ice." He went to join the team in the opposition locker room. I was afraid. I didn't know what he was going to do.
Was he going to hurt Patrick?
Oh God! This is all my fault!
Just then I saw fireworks and the carpet floor below me caught my fall.
"Miss! Excuse me Miss? Can you hear me?" A voice asked.
Who in the hell was that now who was ruining my life even more?

My New Life

2008-11-08T19:34:00.000-08:00

I knew my parents and him were waiting. I got off the plane and I felt my knees go numb. He was handsome. Blonde curly hair and brown eyes. I forced myself to think when I got off the plane I would hate whoever I met there for life. But I couldn't, he was beautiful. I thought even as my parents did arrange my marriage that they at least got a good looking boy. I couldn't argue with that.
"Pooh bear this is Patrick." My dad said.
"Hi Brittnae." He said.
"Okay you kids get lost. Oh and don't knock her up before the wedding there Pat." My dad ended. My parents walked away. Patrick grabbed my two suitcases and led me to his car. It was a Red Volvo. What is up with hockey players and expensive cars? He opened the door for me. I had a flashback of Sidney. He walked over to the driver's side and got in.
"Your dad is probably the biggest nut I have ever met besides Sam Gagner." Patrick said. I think he could tell I was uncomfortable.
"Yeah he is. I had to put up with him for 20 years." I added. He chuckled at my comment.
"So I don't know about you but I will just say it anyways. This is fucked up. But I hope you feel the same way because if not I feel like an idiot."
"I'm with you on that one. I would never arrange a marriage for my kid." I told him. Patrick really didn't seem like a bad kid. He reminded me of Sid a lot so that was a plus.
"So we play the Penguins tommorrow. Do you want to go?" He asked.
"Yes." I replied. Sidney plays for the Penguins so I can see him. Pat plays for the Hawks' so I can see him.
Sidney. Pat.
Oh God!
This is a disaster in the works!

Saying Goodbye Is Never An Easy Thing to Do Especially In Two Weeks They're Going to Die

2008-11-08T18:56:00.000-08:00

I told Laurie the story over the phone. I basically told her I valued every minute of our friendship. I also told her to visit me in Chicago.
I had enough time to hurry up and visit Children's one last time. I dropped my letter of resignation off at the front desk and visited Steve for the very last time.
"Hi Steve. What's happening buddy?" I said as I entered his room.
"Well Nurse Brittnae I am going to die. I weally enjayed you being my nurse. I'm dying today." He said. You could tell. The pep and happiness in his voice was gone.
"I enjoyed being your nurse Steve. I dropped by to say goodbye. I'm moving to Chicago, Steve." I decided to just let everything go and not hold it back.
"You behave in heaven now, you hear?" I said.
"Yes mayhum." Steve replied, taking a good while to reply. I looked at my watch. 1:29. My plane left at 2.
"Well I will see you Steve." I left the room with hot tears streaming down my face. I couldn't make it to the nurse's station to say goodbye to all the nurses. I just darted for my car.

The plane ride didn't help much either. Sidney tried to call me but I blocked his number. I was too hurt to talk to him. I couldn't believe that Steve was going to be gone. Seeing that boy everyday really put a smile on my face with how he handled his brain tumor. The attendant asked me if I wanted a pillow and blanket. I gave a very frail "yes please" and cried myself to sleep.

The next I remember I was in the Windy City. I had to touch up all my make-up before I met this Patrick kid who was my future husband. I can't believe my parents had set up an arranged marriage to a kid who is older than me by 5 years. I couldn't really complain though because Sidney was six. Then I started again.

Sidney.

Mamma said I was to move..

2008-11-08T18:30:00.000-08:00

My cell rang at 12. It was my mom.
"Hello delicate flower!" She said.
"Hi mom." I said.
"So I can't really talk but I am basically going to sum up the rest of your life in the next minute." She started. I didn't really catch her drift so I was just letting her go.
"Your poppa and I have decided to move to Chicago and you're coming with us. There is a boy there named Patrick Kane, who is a center for the Chicago Blackhawks. You see honey that your father and his approved this idea when you were a tot of a planned marriage back then. You are going to marry this boy and bare his children. He is 25 and wants kids, so basically be prepared to become a mom within the next year. Don't worry about college because his parents already checked out the nursing programs around the Chicago area and they said they are very good. Your plane will leave Pittsburgh International in less than two hours so pack as much as you can and we will have Leo come for the rest." She said. Leo was her personal assistant. My father was a famous architect in California so our family is rich.
I was beginning to think of what she said.
"Well I will be waiting to see you at the airport with your future husband. Peace out flower." She said. Then the phone line clicked off.
I was in an arranged marriage? What? After last night, the only person I want is Sidney. I had to say goodbye to my internship at Childrens'. I didn't even have time to say goodbye to Steve for the last time because his health had taken a 90 degree turn in the wrong direction. The doctors were giving him two weeks. I couldn't say goodbye to Laurie. Around all this madness, how was I suppose to explain this to Sidney? I couldn't believe my eyes.
AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE? Who does that to their own kids?

The First Date and a night of.....

2008-11-08T17:59:00.000-08:00

Sidney made reservations to this wonderful Italian Restaurant on the South Side. He arrived just as he said he would at 6. I came out in my pink plaid Sugar boots, American Eagle jeans, and a turtleneck that had little stripes at the cuffs of the hands.
"Wow mademoiselle. You look quite exquisite tonight." He complimented.
"Why thank you Monsieur, you look quite spiffy as well." I returned.
"Shall we?" He said holding out his hand.
"Yes. I've been waiting for some excitement for a while now." I said. Sidney chuckled.
We walked out of my dorm complex and outside on the curb was parked a silver Range Rover. Sidney opened my door for me like a gentleman. Then he opened it for me when we arrived.

The restaurant really was romantic. There was candlelight on all the tables. Sidney pulled my chair out for me and everything. The waiter came up with a bottle of champagne and poured it into the two wine glasses on the table. Then he brought out this big plate of pasta that was delicious. After we were done eating, I decided to get to know this Sidney Crosby as the guy no one sees off the ice.
"Do you have a sister?" I asked.
"Yeah, Taylor. She just graduated high school. You?" He asked.
"I'm an only child. If you ever meet my parents, as a forewarning, they are the biggest hippies you will ever know in your lifetime." I said.
We sat there for a good hour talking over things. I really did like him. This champagne though was getting to me. We headed back to his apartment at half past seven.

Sidney unlocked his door. I immediately pushed him against his wall and started kissing him. Then I started to unbutton his shirt.
"Aren't we going too fast?" He said.
I didn't even hesitate to answer.
"No. This feels right." I answered. I knew what I was doing was wrong. Does he even have condoms?
We kept kissing until he lead me to his room. It was real plain. White bed sheets and a tv. Clothes were thrown everywhere. We ended up on his bed with no clothes on. I felt everything too. His sweet kisses. My legs wrapping around his. His dick going in and out. God I couldn't help it. Sex with him felt good. After two hours of hot sex, we fell asleep. Good thing tomorrow was Saturday. I don't think I could will myself to work or classes. I couldn't help it. I was a good girl gone bad.

Looks like I got myself into a whole bunch of trouble..
Then my parents decided to drop a bomb on me the next day.

The Last Call Before My Life Changed for Good

2008-11-08T17:15:00.000-08:00

I just parked my 2011 Jetta in the Children's parking garage when my cell phone called.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Hey Brittnae. Dinner tonight at this restaurant I made reservations to. I'll pick you up at your dorm at 6." The voice answered.
"Who is this? Cam I told you." I began to ramble on.
"First off who is this Cam kid? Second, what did you tell him? Third, this is Sidney. Remember the guy you ran away from after I asked you on a date?" He stopped me.
"How did you get my number? How do you know I'm in college?" I rambled again. I was starting to feel creeped out that he had gotten my number.
"I can get anything out of a woman's head with a little bit of sweet talking. You know that cherry redhead? Yeah, well she told me everything." He answered.
My head had started to spin. He was the biggest hockey player in the NHL and he wanted to take me on a date? What do I have that is so special? I've seen prettier girls than me. I'm just plain old Brittnae.
I knew which nurse he was talking about. Sarah McLachlan. That girl needs to learn to keep her yap shut. I swear she is going to hear it.
"Well to completely answer your question Cam is an annoying kid I have classes with who I think has a crush on me. Cam is just a nobody." I said.
"You deliver a message to this Cam kid. Tell him your boyfriend who is on the Penguins team said to leave you the hell alone unless he wants his face rearranged. I gotta go though, Brittnae. Morning skate is just about to start. Tell Steve I said hi. Well, I'll see you at 6." Sidney spoke for the final time.
"Consider it done and okay." I said and then I pushed end.
Sidney Crosby was taking me on a date. Am I lucky or what? I can't wait to tell my folks. I haven't spoke to them in forever. First off though, I have to thank Sarah for my life.
That's when I realized my life was perfect. Now I have another problem.
What am I suppose to wear?

He's just THE Sidney Crosby...

2008-11-08T15:23:00.000-08:00

I ran to the floor's nurses station. No one was there. On the other side of the counter he appeared.
"You know you are very pretty." He broke the dead silence.
"Why thank you for the flattery Mr. Crosby, but I'm pretty sure your wife wouldn't like you hitting on another woman." I softly spoke.
"You think I'm married? I haven't even had a girlfriend since I was 22. That was almost five years ago. I don't date often." He replied.
"Well I guess I'm just another girl." I snickered.
"Actually I don't need a little kid to get me a date. I'm perfectly capable of asking you on a date myself. I might be Sidney Crosby but I do have a social life." He added.
"But you haven't had a girlfriend in five years." I snapped at him. I don't need a man who wants me for what's between my legs and that's it. Between those years, he has probably gotten laid at least 100 times.
"I have a social life just not a sex life. That's why she broke up with me." He replied under his breath.
I couldn't think of anything to say.
He's Sidney Crosby.
I'm a college student.
He wants me.
I'm only 20.
He's 27.
Sidney Crosby wants me to go on a date with him.
Wait...
He's SIDNEY CROSBY!
At that moment I darted to the nearest ladies room I could find. I felt it coming.
Word vomit.

A Big Surprise...and a New Boyfriend too?

2008-11-08T15:07:00.001-08:00

I checked in as usual after my classes were over. I walked in to give Steve his daily medication and that's when he dropped a bomb.
"Guess what Nurse Brittnae?" He asked.
"What's that Steve?" I answered.
"The Penguins hawkye players are coming in taday for a visit. I get to meet Sidney Crawsby." Steve answered.
Since he was diagnosed, his health has really been affecting his speech.
"Wow Steve. That's great." I answered.
"Sidney is so cool. Last year he came and gave me a signed poster." Steve added.
"Cool." I answered.
"Nurse Brittnae do you have a boyfriend?" He came out of the middle of nowhere and asked.
"Sorry Steve I don't. There's only a friend of mine that is a boy and his name is Cam." I replied. I don't consider Cam my boyfriend. For all I know, he could only want me as a sleeping partner. That's why I hate men. All they want is sex.
"When Sidney comes in I am going to ask him out for you." Steve said.
"You do that. What do you want today for breakfast? Eggs or Pancakes?" I asked. I was beginning to get tired of telling my depressing lack of a social life. I was only focused on school and like that hockey guy would say yes anyway. From what I hear, girls just throw themselves at him. I would really want a boyfriend that gets that attention. Yea Right.
"Eggs puleez." He answered. I left to the kitchen to get him his breakfast.
When I came back, Sidney Crosby and Maxime Talbot were in Steve's room.
"See Mr. Crawsby. This is the pretty nurse I've been telling you about. The one that I think you should go on a date with." After he said those last words I ran out of the room full of humiliation. To my surprise, I was being followed.

Starting Off on Your Own Is Hard to Do

2008-11-08T14:27:00.000-08:00

I had applied for the 2012 fall term to Pitt University last March. I had just gotten my letter of Acceptance on August 14th. My parents live in California, in a small suburb just 10 minutes outside of Laguna Beach. I applied to Pitt because I wanted away from the beach and the Ocean. Pennsylvania looked like my safe haven. Pitt University just caught my eye. If you don't know me, my name is Brittnae Starks. My parents raised me on the whole "Peace love brother" mantra because they are the biggest hippies I know that are alive. A very distant cousin of mine is the hockey legend Gordie Howe. My mother really liked the name Britney but my father wanted to be different in spelling of names so that is the explanation for the very weird spelling. I met my cousin only once in 2004 at a hockey convention in Canada. Even if my parents are hippies, they are probably the most loyal fans the NHL has today. They are huge fans of the Kings but I say the Ducks are better. I mean c'mon. The Ducks won the Stanley Cup in 2007 and when was the last time the Kings did?
I arrived at Pittsburgh just in time for orientation. I had a roommate named Laurie who came from Upper Saint Clair and was majoring to be a pharmacist. I was majoring to be a nurse so I guess it works out. The first time I met Laurie, she told me that I looked just like Kim Kardashian. I guess I sort of do. I have long brunette hair and Italian skin. I look nothing like my parents. I have no siblings. I never really was in a serious relationship. I always was very studious in school and I got a full ride scholarship for academics.
My best friend that I could tell anything to tragically died in a car accident on the day of our high school graduation. Her name was Katie Cairns and she was eight months pregnant. The first year of college really was a blur. I met a boy named Cam Dreyfus who sorta kinda liked me. Cam would text me in class and all and tell me that he loved me. The second year of college started off with a bang. My one teacher, Mrs. Roberts, had given me the advice to apply for an internship at one of Pittsburgh's many hospitals. I applied to Children's and I got it. My only patient I was assigned to look over was a little boy named Steve and he was struggling with a brain tumor. I got him his food and everything. Steve's parents were never there. I was told by one of the older nurses that Steve's parents were billionaires and never acknowledged they had a son. I felt really sad for Steve too because everyday he was just so peppy and happy even though he was slowly dying. Not only that, his own parents didn't even care! Everyday Steve would talk to me about the weather outside or his old dog named Max. Lately, he started talking about the Penguins. For all this while I've been living in Pittsburgh, I have never been to a Penguin game. Only a Steeler game with Cam because he wanted me to meet his parents who work at the front office.